M’Histoire: Eureka?


There can be a moment when all the pieces of information and experience you have on a topic cease to daisy chain together like a railroad train chugging along a set of rails, tilt on their axis, spin in the air, and when the linked memes land again, they've taken on a new configuration carrying an entirely different meaning and significance. It was a moment like that a week ago when I decided I needed to start this blog. I am still trying to sort out what it was that tipped, which event or clue or tidbit of information.

I remember I was looking at this image when it happened.

Flashback, noon, same day

I was getting over some sort of virus that involved being tired and dizzy, but had come into work for an important meeting. After the meeting I was walking back to my office, past the School of Dentistry where I worked before my current job, and realized I felt homesick. I was just going to go home and rest more, so decided to take a couple minutes and walk through my old stomping grounds and see what and who I could find. It turned out they were having the craft fair and preparing for the Martin Luther King Day events. Many of my old friends were all around or on their way. Greetings galore, hugs, excitement. I grabbed my camera and started taking pics of the artwork. This was one of the pieces and the last photo I took. Just before I left I was chatting with one of my best friends on the faculty, and hesitantly mentioned my recent medical issues. With great graciousness and calm, she folded her hands in front of her, looked down, and said, "If you have to have it done, then he is the best. I wish you well."

<< Return to present

A batch of my ginger beer concentrate was cooking on the stove. It smelled divine — all lemony fresh. I'd been craving it for a while, and a couple days before had realized I actually had on hand 6 lemons and 2 grapefruit and could make some from scratch! Years before I had shared my recipe with a friend who managed a cancer patient support site for her to use there, and now I could never find my own copy and just looked it up on the web. Handy thing, the web.

After I woke up from my nap, I'd been busy doing research online. I had some complicated medical tests coming up. I wasn't so much worried about what the docs would find as I was worried about the test itself. I wasn't having any luck getting my concerns heard by the residents who work with my surgeon so I had enlisted the help of my primary care doc. He heard my concerns and was working on a solution, but I was getting nervous because I hadn't not heard back as soon as I expected. I'd pinged him earlier and was watching for a reply. In any case, while I was waiting, I wanted to learn a little more about the various options related to the surgery.

Somewhere in between research, uncertainty, ginger beer, homesickness and averted eyes lay a teetering topic trying to coalesce. A tiny hissing voice whispered, "Start writing." I didn't. Not that day.