M’Histoire: Hmmm, now this makes more sense …

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Here are just a couple images from today’s CT scan. I’ve been staring
at them, and eventually my brain kicked in, and I thought, you know,
the bony parts, aside from the bump, look, well, pretty much like the
skulls from medical anatomy. Um, actually, pretty normal. The palate
in particular. It seems pretty even. From all directions. On both
sides. The weirdest thing I noticed was the gray lump in the left
maxillary sinus. Which may not be weird, how would I know, but it is
certainly asymmetrical.

I spoke to a friend who was a radiologist. He was just such a good
friend. Said tell him everything. Basically, he helped me feel
reassured. Tomorrow I see the surgeon. They’ll have the report and
we’ll get the scoop.

The bump still hurts, and in the past couple weeks seems to hurt more
overall. Not constantly, but sort of ebbing and cresting, but
generally more. What I am wondering now, after seeing the imaging is
if the pain and movement I’m sensing in the palate is the palate area,
and might be in the surrounding soft tissues rather than in the bone
itself.

You see, I’d noticed that my palate seemed normal in the mornings, but
then would be uneven after a few hours. It seemed odd to me, but a
typical sort of being-to-close-to-the-problem kind of error. Doofus.
Yes, the bump is huge. Yes, it hurts, or things right next to it hurt,
most of the time nowadays. And I have been worried about it for a long
time. I still feel silly that I never even thought about the shift in
the palate height and density being the tissues around the bone
instead of the bone. REALLY silly. A much simpler explanation.

So let’s try this on for size. Let’s pretend that grayish lump in my
left maxillary sinus is pressing down or draining or inflaming tissues
or whatever somehow making the soft tissues of the area around the
palate thicker or lower, and *that* is what I’m noticing and
misinterpreting as the lower palate. Doesn’t that sound … more
reasonable?

Now, another early morning tomorrow, so sleep earlier tonight, I hope.
Still need surgery to get rid of that big depressing bump that hurts.
Still need the fistula repair. Probably ought to figure out what the
heck is going on with the maxillary sinus and have something done
about that. Bleagh. None of it fun, but considerably less worrisome
than some of the other options!

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